Almost Honest

Happiness

2010-04-03T00:50:00.000-07:00

How can one be truly happy? One can be truly happy with a life that

is made up of dreams one has envisioned , one believes in and one

strives to fulfil with one's mid, body and soul. One can be truly happy

if one follows the dream without blindly accepting and giving into the

hurdles the world presents, forces upon us, consciously or

unconsciously, actively or passively, directly or indirectly, openly or

secretively. One can be truly happy if one has experienced the

exhilaration of fighting till the end despite all hardships, without ever

giving up and and then coming out of the other end, bruised but not

broken, tired but not exhausted. For its very easy to accept the

overwhelming will of the world but true fulfillment comes from within.

From realising, chasing dreams we have seen for ourselves and not

the ones the world forces upon us. Every single day I meet people

with goals rather than dreams, people who are content rather than

happy. Life is not really whats under the shade of safety we strive

to create for ourselves, but its really under the glory of sunshine,

its really under the starry nights. I hope and pray you are on this

path of happiness too.

Broken

2009-06-17T07:30:00.000-07:00

Lying on the floor, the million broken pieces of glass, glistening with tears but sparkling like diamonds, are the remains of something precious. The room is dark and strange. Misty fog descends to fill the air. Its no point trying to pick the pieces up for like any piece of broken glass, they can only hurt and make someone bleed. Just walk away. Just look away. For it slipped from my hands. The glass full of broken dreams.

Shadows and Regrets

2009-05-18T11:12:00.000-07:00

I'm back, back in town, and everything has changed.
I feel, feel let down, the faces stay the same.
I see, see shadows, of who we used to be.
When I drive, drive so slow, through this memory.

When we were only kids, and we were best of friends,
and we hoped for the best, and let go of the rest.

I heard, heard myself say things I take back.
If I could, could re-tell and make these stories last.
I see, see shadows of who we'll always be.
When I drive, drive these roads that made our memories.

When we were only kids, and we were best of friends,
and we hoped for the best, and let go of the rest.

The shadows and regrets, let go of the rest.

Everything has changed,
the faces stay the same

When we were only kids, and our time couldn't end,
and how tall did we stand, with the world in our hands.

And we were only kids, and we were best of friends,
and we hoped for the best, and let go of the rest.

The shadows and regrets, let go of the rest.
The shadows and regrets, let go of the rest.

Lightning Crashes

2009-05-17T23:00:00.001-07:00

Not until we are faced by the infinite pain of someone close to us, do we realize the insignificance of our own sufferings. The muted cries, the frozen tears and a childhood lost forever. Where do we turn, when we have no words or comforting touch to offer. What do our lost dreams stand for in front of someone's lost reality.This is the story of vivid memories and fading dreams.

The Struggle Within

2009-05-11T12:17:00.000-07:00

But there is suffering in life, and there are defeats. No one can avoid them. But it's better to lose some of the battles in the struggles for your dreams than to be defeated without ever knowing what you're fighting for.

Flashback

2009-05-10T14:49:00.000-07:00

Someday your life will flashback in front of your eyes.Make sure it worth watching.

We have one life which we live in our very own,unique way.This unique way, the path as many would call it is a result of who we are,our environment, our experiences and how we choose to let them affect us. But years later what would we remember of this life of ours just in case it decides to flashback in front of our eyes? Like any flashback, it will not be about reasons, paths, and how we got where we did.
It will be about moments. It will be about experiences most vivid left behind in our sub conscious. It will be about pictures that left behind an imprint. It will be about moments that took our breath away. How many such moments can you recall if asked to? How often are people at loss to remember such moments. How many of those moments have you had that never fail to bring a smile to your face?
Sometimes we lose ourselves in the cobweb rules that we built ourselves or the world built around us. How often do we get blinded by these prizes the society has to offer us. These accolades and glories, we chase all our lives. But would you rather exchange them for a moments view of the rising sun over the Alps. Or for the first seconds spent under the clear, blue ocean. For the rush of jumping off a plane with a parachute. For standing under a waterfall. For letting the white, warm sand slip through your fingers on an unexplored beach.
There is only one life we have got. And the experiences this world has got to offer us are infinite. I guess I would rather go about my life collecting these moments than have any of the worldly glories bestowed upon me.

Existence is conceptual. Living is real.

You, Me and One Dance

2009-05-03T21:39:00.000-07:00

Me: Dance?
You: I should go.
Me: I remember once when I was young, and I was coming back from some place, a movie or something. I was on the subway and there was a girl sitting across from me and she was wearing this dress that was buttoned queer up right to here, she was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. And I was shy then, so when she would look at me I would look away, then afterwards when I would look back she would look away. Then I got to where I was gonna get off, and got off, the doors closed, and as the train was pulling away she looked right at me and gave me the most incredible smile. It was awful, I wanted to tear the doors open. And I went back every night, same time, for two weeks, but she never showed up. That was 30 years ago and I don't think that there's a day that goes by that I don't think about her, I don't want that to happen again. Just one dance?

An Eternal Truth?

2009-05-03T21:35:00.000-07:00

If you ever want something badly, let it go. If it comes back to you, then it's yours forever. If it doesn't, then it was never yours to begin with.

Black

2009-04-02T12:25:00.000-07:00

For what is it die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?
And what is it to cease breathing but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?
Death is nothing at all.I have only slipped away into the next room.I am I, and you are you.Whatever we were to each other, that we still are.
Call me by my old familiar name,speak to me in the easy way which you always used to.
Put no difference into your tone,wear no forced air of sorrow.
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Pray, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name ever be the household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without effect, without the shadow of ghost in it.
Life means all it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was; there is unbroken continuity.
What is death but a negligible accident?
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just around the corner.
All is well.

Acceptance of life and for that matter death is vital for us to carry on and move on in life. The memories will always remind us of what we had and what more we could have had.
Sometimes in Life, we get what we get.It has nothing to do with what we deserve. Sometimes looking for reasons and explanations only hurt us.Reasons are always there.Somewhere hiding from plain view just under the surface.But sometimes the harder we try to look for them, the more elusive they become.Sometimes you just have to let go.

I guess I finally understand what Teardrops dissolving Into Dust means.

Random?

2009-03-01T13:37:00.003-08:00

Dream.Wish.Hope.Prayer.Journey.Red.Ecstasy.Joy.Truth.Pain.
Faith.Crash.Logic.Shadows.Rational.Carnival.Moment.Moon.
Path.End.Lost.Surrender.24.Close.Distance.Cold.Home.
Understanding.Color.Say.Tear.Laughter.Time.Frozen.Alive.
Trouble.Tonight.Soon.Sunbeam.Empty.Eyes.Everyday.Night.
Sky.Stars.Desolate.Hurt.Afraid.Dance.Walk.Memory.Sunshine.
Hollow.Nothingness.Emotional.Unbelievable.Fool.Regret.Undecided.
Lesson.Found.Drops.Rose.Shiver.Trust.Poem.Untitled.Evening.
Imagine.Heaven.Compassion.Dewdrops.Treasure.Apathy.Rainbow.
Picture.Years.Patience.Wait.Adoration.Flower.Bliss.Wave.Despair.
Lonely.Unspoken.Silence.Words.Gravity.Sunrise.Sunset.Song.
Curse.Glass.Touch.Glory.Shame.Heart.Locked.Relic.Soul.Tender.
Transparent.Flame.Grief.Garden.Maple.Dark.Clear.Special.Chained.
Magic.Photograph.Aura.Wisdom.Footprint.Sand.House.Smile.
Unspoken.Sky.Together.Behind.God.Stupid.World.Hand.Care.
Someone.Someday.Fray.Still.Yet.Beyond.Ruin.Intensity.Overwhelm.
Stranger.Mirage.Cradle.Sleep.Letdown.Shine.Rain.Never.Ocean
Remembrance.Answers.Broken.Lightning.Luck.Reflection.Promise.
Darkness.Dawn.Yesterday.Today.Tomorrow.Life.Love.Lost.Dream.Black.

Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind

2009-02-19T03:09:00.000-08:00

How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!

The world forgetting, by the world forgot.

Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!

Each prayer accepted, and each wish resigned ...

Tear In The Night Sky

2009-01-31T03:49:00.000-08:00

One summer night, out on a flat headland, all but surrounded by the waters of the bay, the horizons were remote and distant rims on the edge of space. Millions of stars blazed in darkness, and on the far shore a few lights burned in cottages. Otherwise there was no reminder of human life. My companion and I were alone with the stars: the misty river of the Milky Way flowing across the sky, the patterns of the constellations standing out bright and clear, a blazing planet low on the horizon. It occurred to me that if this were a sight that could be seen only once in a century, this little headland would be thronged with spectators. But it can be seen many scores of nights in any year, and so the lights burned in the cottages and the inhabitants probably gave not a thought to the beauty overhead; and because they could see it almost any night, perhaps they never will...

Season Of Change?

2009-01-18T08:05:00.000-08:00

Does the flower blossom any different now,
Is the sky a different shade of blue,
Why is the night sky any less brilliant now,
The twinkle of the stars is still true?
Is the majestic sun any colder now,
or does the earth just revolve around it a little slow,
aren't there any full moon nights now,
Which of the world's curse did dim the ember's glow?
Why does the sea just stand and watch in despair,
What happened to the heavens?It seems broken and beyond repair.
The cry of the lonely night was muted or a sin?
It is silent on the surface but it screams within.

Life Goes On

2008-12-21T11:43:00.000-08:00

“You can shed tears that she is gone,
or you can smile because she has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see her,
or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember her only that she is gone,
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind,
be empty and turn your back.
Or you can do what she'd want:
smile, open your eyes, love and go on.”

-Anonymous...

On The Edge Of Time

2008-12-06T00:26:00.000-08:00

Tonight I stand at the edge of time,
knowing not where to turn,
There is no one in sight,
and no one's touch,
what do I do to make it through the night,
I have been true,
to who I am and my dreams,
then why is agony all I got,
All but lost in this mirage,
all I want to take back to grave
is the feeling that I stood
And I fought.

Maybe while I was flying high up in the sky with my hopes
I forgot to keep my feet on the ground
With the all the noise around and these distractions
now even silence has become a scary sound
Dreams I had as a kid have all faded away
that simple picture I had in my mind
Maybe the kid itself has been cast away
Lost and hurt,never to return from the chains that bind.

Now I am hanging onto words
that were never spoken before
Like the dewdrops on my windowpane
and now I am hanging onto my lies
that were never dreamt before
Like the tears lost in the rain
So I cry myself to sleep dreaming of hope
but I still wake up with tears on my cheek
All I want to do now is to leave the night and past behind me
and look again for the golden treasure and the dreams I seeked.

They cared about what I said
and not what I meant
They cared about their lies
and not of my dreams
They gave me choices all along
Of hopeless truth and hopeful lies
I never wanted to be a face in the crowd
not the world's clown I wanted to be,
For I know the rules of this world,
But the rules surely do not know me.

My sins of the past were long forgotten
but scars remain the same
A little faded though
Still reminding of the pain
And where to go having been broken by the wind
and all I can do is cradle my dreams
But this life is worth fighting for someone reminded
through the dark and cold night the angel guided.

But once again I stand here at the edge of time
cradling the dreams I hold so dear,
Looking straight ahead into the darkness,
Ready to give up all that I fear.
And these emotions are just bottled up within,
But no one to whom I can say,
And when my dream is right next to me,
How am I,
How am I supposed to look away.

Hope Never Dies

2008-12-05T14:24:00.000-08:00

Almost on the Edge

2008-12-04T05:02:00.000-08:00

"Deep down you may still be that same great kid you used to be. But it's not who you are underneath, it's what you do that defines you"

Ladder to the Sun

2008-08-28T14:04:00.000-07:00

Looking in the darkness for that one voice,
one ray of light,or a cloud's silver line,
hope remains his only choice,
and he will hold on for the sun to shine.

Sitting all day,i am drawing lines in my head,
that tell me where to go,
On this long road ahead into the night,
looking for answers i dont seem to know.

Feeling like a man with wings but no skies to fly,
Tears swell inside,but i just cant seem to cry,
Still looking for something that cant be found,
and the whole of this world just seems to pass me by.

All these chains of lies that the world surrounds,
have kept me tied to the ground
but has the time come and gone away,
for me to fly and not be found?

But something tells me my time will come
to leave this place where i dont wish to stay
to be on my own and find myself
not bound by rules and fly away
Into the sun,Into the wild,
where i will walk alone like nature's child.

Dream of Dreaming

2008-08-27T12:01:00.001-07:00

'The only dream worth having...is to dream that you will live while you are alive and die only when you are dead...
To love.To be loved.To never forget your own significance.To never get used to the unspeakable violence and vulgar disparity of life around you.To seek joy in the saddest places.To pursue beauty to its lair.To never simplify what is complicated and complicate what is simple.To stand up for what you believe in.To respect strength,never power.Above all,to watch.To try and understand.To never look away.And never,never to forget.'

A Journey called Life

2008-06-06T09:37:00.001-07:00

Where was I,why couldn't I see
when the world was building these walls around me
these chains are blind that bind me down
but I will wait till my Kingdoms' found.

These voices inside my head they play
these games with my mind I cant keep away
I am trying hard to keep out the noise
hope seems lost but then its my only choice.

My only choice to get out of hell
the only voice inside me that I can tell
looking for angels only demons I have found
that have kept me from the truth and soul's been bound

So here I am against world's might
all I can do is put up a fight
fighting in head,what's wrong,what's right
waiting,lying low for morning light.

And light will shine upon my face
and life will be back with all its grace
I know somewhere i will come out of this
and its ok,it always is.

Life has new reason,life has new rhyme
this long road i walk alone and finally i am mine.

All this while in the darkness i crawled
I am bound by my rules and I am bound by these walls
hoping against hope when orders seem tall
but at the end its reason's light that falls.

Light falls upon me and scars are shown
Scars not on the face but its the soul that moans
but I wont let all of this go down in vain
a lot has to be taken from the angst and pain.

Cause in this pain i will learn my lessons in life
why all seemed lost and there was only strife
this is not going to stop me nor will make me cry
the pain is beyond me now I am gonna fly.

Open your eyes and you will open your mind
to this beautiful world,only to find
that you are alone here, its you and just time
your life your love is only divine.

Your love for music and your love for sound
your love to get lost in the wild and never be found
Your love for color and your love for light
everything you ever saw and everything in sight.

One life to live and we have got one life to love,
The journey isn't straight,its angles and curves,
One life to live and one life to love,
So i am on my way with angels above...

Celebration of Imperfection

2008-05-23T11:00:00.000-07:00

All my life i have seen people around me cribbing for one reason or the other.For reasons as trivial as life going a certain way when they would have wanted it go some other way.For complaining all our lives about life not being perfect.We have all at some point in our lives have done this.So it all comes down to 'life being perfect'?But then what is perfect after all?A perception?A dream?Or a reality so blatantly true and naked that we end up denying its existence even if it is staring us in our eyes all our lives.
This world is a celebration of imperfection.Every single day things happen around us which by no means can be called perfect.But they happen.And probably for a reason.To show us that our very existence,our very lives and this world around us is the most apt example of perfection.Perfection in existence.Perfection in reality.Acceptance of happenings around us without the prejudice of 'right' and 'wrong','good' or 'bad' maybe the first step towards acceptance of an idea of perfection.By no means am i trying to suggest that we should succumb to everything that is happening around us in the name of what is popularly known as 'fate'.For fate is what you choose.Everyone chooses their own fate.
But unfortunately our perception of good and bad,perfect and imperfect,right and wrong has become the longest running opinion poll in the history of mankind.An opinion poll with infinite questions and even more opinions.Everyone has the right to vote.And the votes are being counted by our faceless society every second.And the opinion with the maximum votes becomes the 'right' or 'good' in the usual sense of speaking.Its a plague that has curbed the flight of mankind for a really long time.So many great ideas were brought down crashing to the ground just because the majority of people then were too immature to understand its importance and depth.So it was voted out.There have been from time to time people,who can be called great in the true sense,cause they defied the popular notion and believed in their ideals even after being labelled 'wrong' or 'unnecessarily revolutionary'.Some of them were vindicated later but not many.An idea or the fact that man can give birth to something as original as an idea is perfect in itself,its implications on society not withstanding.So till the time our basic idea of 'right' and 'wrong' is chained by the opinion of the billions around us,our perceptions will remain clouded and distorted.
The very idea of human being perfect is rejected with such ferocity in our so called society that one wonders if we too belong to the same race.We have all but surrendered to the fact that man is as flawed as he can be.The comments like 'You are 'only' human' or 'Its in human nature to make mistakes' are not rare at all.All our mistakes are attributed to us being essentially faulty and yet all our glories are a result of 'luck' or something up there that we just cant explain.Anything but us.Anything but human.Why is it that we choose to ignore the world around us that we have built with our own hands.Why is being pathetically humble held in such high regards?I am not saying man should start worshipping the human race itself but credit should be given where it is long due.Any mention of human perfection is fought bravely by man himself with a million examples of pain and sorrow in this world caused by our actions.If only some of these efforts were directed towards solving some of those problems,the world would be a better place to live.
Acceptance of life as it is given to us and living it to the fullest is all that is asked of us.It cant be very complicated can it be?The human spirit is not to be limited by laws and boundaries created by a society afraid of its own glorious potential.A society that is so afraid of man's limitless potential that it curbs it by making walls and ceilings around it in the name of 'good' and 'bad','right' and 'wrong','perfect' and 'imperfect'...'man' and 'god'.
There is only one life to live.Only one life to love.The celebration of imperfection...